Some days I get up and go about my life and I seem and act relatively normal. With few thoughts of last summer. Then there are days were I just can't shake it. It's always front and forward in my thoughts.
Then there are days were my heart just hurts, and I feel the void greatly that loosing Michael has left me with. That has been my week. My heart has just hurt. All week. I try to keep busy. To keep my mind occupied with things other then my heartache. It has gotten better as the week has progressed but the pain is always there. Just below the surface. Waiting.
But I will get up tomorrow again and face the day and hope that it is not another one of those DAYS.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Friendships
I find it interesting how events and time changes the dynamics of people that you used to call Friend. With some people it comes very easy and little work or effort is needed to sustain it.
While there are others that take so much time and effort and cultivating. Yet some of these same people seem unable to do the same.
Then there are those that you thought you were Friends with only to find out later in life that, no, you really were never friends. What happened to make these people seem to flee from your life? Death is what happened.
And then there are some that over the course of time, fall by the wayside due to maturity. Distance. Any number of things really. But then there are some that enter your life again after a long absence. And you think, oh yes. I remember you and why I thought we were friends.
Friendships. They come and they go.
While there are others that take so much time and effort and cultivating. Yet some of these same people seem unable to do the same.
Then there are those that you thought you were Friends with only to find out later in life that, no, you really were never friends. What happened to make these people seem to flee from your life? Death is what happened.
And then there are some that over the course of time, fall by the wayside due to maturity. Distance. Any number of things really. But then there are some that enter your life again after a long absence. And you think, oh yes. I remember you and why I thought we were friends.
Friendships. They come and they go.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Rewind And Push Play....
So I had a dream last night. I am usually not one to talk about my dreams, but this one was so vivid and real. It was like someone had recorded events in my life and I found myself reliving the events all over again.
The dream all centered around Michael's death and it was happening all over again. Step by step. Each moment, from the time of being told that he was dead all the way up to his wake. It was so real and so painfull. I felt I was in a time warp. The conversations that I had, the pain and the heartache. It was truly as if someone had hit rewind and then pushed play on my life.
Not a dream or aspect of my life I wish to revisit.
The dream all centered around Michael's death and it was happening all over again. Step by step. Each moment, from the time of being told that he was dead all the way up to his wake. It was so real and so painfull. I felt I was in a time warp. The conversations that I had, the pain and the heartache. It was truly as if someone had hit rewind and then pushed play on my life.
Not a dream or aspect of my life I wish to revisit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)