Learning To Adjust

So, a new year has begun and I seem to be learning to adjust to my new way of life. My journey has not been easy and my grief has certainly held me back. But with the move into the new year I seem to have recovered some desire to live again, to want to do things.

Is it just that enough time has passed and my sorrow and feeling of loss has finally been dealt with? No, but at least I Want to do things again. I want to look good, I want to feel good. That in and of itself is a turn for me, I feel as if I had a death wish the last 6 months, hoping maybe. But that was not to be, maybe to easy huh?

But my point remains, the fact that I now seem to get up each day and instead of dreading it, I embrace it. I want to get things done, I have purpose as opposed to doing what had to be done.
I even went out to dinner by myself tonight. No one else, just me. Yes it would have been nice to have had company, but I didn't even feel the need to try and find someone who might want or could go have dinner with me. And I enjoyed it. A sad sight for some I am sure. But as I sat their enjoying my sushi dinner. I thought to myself "so this must have been what it was like for Michael and all the other people who have to travel from home and spend their evenings alone".
It was an eye opener.

I know this is not the end of my journey back to the living. But at least I am learning to adjust.