Where Did You Go?

I sometimes look at pictures of Michael, and I think "How did this happen, where did you go"?
It just is so bizzare to me that someone that I loved so much and so deeply could be taken in a blink of an eye.

I mean, I know it happens. I am not the only one who feels this way. But, there are days I just can NOT fathom that he is not here. I think to myself. Where Did You Go????? Why are you not here? How could you have been taken from this world when you still had so much to give.

I just don't understand somedays. Today is one of those of days. I have felt very lonely all day. I have had moments were I have thought "God who can I call and talk to". But there is no one. It is just me, alone with my thoughts and memories.
And I look at a picture of Micahel and all I can think is "Where Did You Go"?

Key West........

As of this afternoon, I no longer own our Condo in Key West. Some what bitter sweet. But the right thing to do. I will miss it and what was our home away from home.
Key West was were Michael and I meet all those years ago, who knew that our lives would be bound so tightly together.
I will miss it dearly, just as I miss him, but life marches on.....

The Process Of Moving...

So, the process now starts. I have made my selection, the deal has been sealed and it comes down to the closing and me packing up the house. It's a process I personally thought I would never go through again.
I thought when we moved into this home that would be it. I actually recall Michael and I having that conversation. That, that was it, we were not moving again. Funny how that has now changed.
He is no longer here, and what once was our home, now waits for someone else to claim it. I will be moving into a new home. Something that is just mine, but I will take Michael's memory with me and the many things he taught me about life.
The process is a bit tedious, but it is a chance to purge. I think it is something we all need to do from time to time.
I had meant this to be a more light hearted posting, but it is the 28th of the month, and let's face it. You never know what my mood will be like on that day of the month. And on that note I am ending this post.

Conversations

You know I find if you give people the chance, whether it's family, friends or just people you care about, the chance to talk, it is amazing the things they will tell you. I have had the good fortune to have two great conversations over the last couple of days. And I am truly thankful for the time we spent talking.

All you have to do is listen, and they in return listen to you. The art of conversation is a lost thing to some. Pity, there is so much you can know about someone if you just listen.

Moving Forward

So I finanlly found a place to call home. Over the past year I decided to put my home up for sale as I felt it was time to move into the city, and break away from what has in some ways become my prison.

It is a fabulous condo, with lots of space and room for me to grow and spread my wings, and to enjoy life once again.

I am truly looking forward to the move and am excited about something finally. It's a wonderful feeling. I will be moving mid May if all goes as planned. It's time to move forward.

In The 9th Month

As executor and heir to Michael's estate I am required by law to file and pay All taxes by the end of the 9th month upon his death. Today was that day. And so it has been done.

Last week was an extremely emotional one for me. It had not been that bad for me since the early days of his death. But I survived it. And so my life continues to move forward. With a great pain in my heart, but none the less it goes on.

Some days are better then others, but what can you do. You find a way. And so it is.

AH A SPRING DAY

Well I know it's early in the season still, but it truly felt like a spring day today. Blue skies and abundant sunshine. It is awesome. Here I sit, outside on my deck, shorts and sandals on, drinking in the warmth of the sun.
Why I even took the little car out today for a spin with the top down. I feel like I have done nothing but hibernate since Michael's passing and the summer was cooler then normal and winter seemed to arrive early. So needless to say I am chomping at the bit for warmth and sunshine.

Well we have that in abundance today, I realize we could still have a set back around easter, but just knowing it's only weeks away makes it bearable if it turns cool or even cold again.
I am ready to spread my wings and fly again, today at least.

My only regret is that I know how much Michael would have loved a day like today. So I will appreciate it for the both of us. But with that said, there is nothing like the early onsite of spring to make one feel invigorated. Enjoy!!