A Change Is In The Air

There is a change in the air, can you feel it? The days are growing shorter and a chill is in the air.
The leaves are starting to turn and soon they will be falling. Pumpkin patches are starting to appear.

Can you feel it? do you sense the changes? They are coming. Soon the trees and plants will go dormant as the chilly nights start to bring the first of the frost forming air.

Before we know it the first tiny flakes of snow will fall, blanketing us in white. A change is in the air. Some do not look forward to this change, I however welcome it. This is a change I look forward to. This is a change I am ready for.

A change is going to come.........

September 6th Part 2....

So I wanted to follow up with my last post, so as not to lead anyone to think that my day was not a good one.

Quite the contrary. It was a very enjoyable day. A close friend came over and we spent the day out shopping and just enjoying the day. We stumbled across an art show and just enjoyed the afternoon of looking at various artists, making comments, some good, some not so good.

I found a great new piece to add to my collection and J found a photo that I that was very haunting yet inviting that he added to his collection.

After that it was off for a mexican dinner, which J is not found of at all but tolerates for me.
All in all a pretty great day. Thanks for making it so J.

September 6th......

So today is my birthday, I am now 44 years old. So many years have come and gone, so many changes. Some good, some not good, one event was just the worst. But here I stand. I look in the mirror trying to see the man of my youth. He's not there. Still the same face, but it's the eyes that give it away.

A few more wrinkles here and there. The grey stands out a little more prominately, even more in the last few months.

They say with age comes wisdom, it is wisdom or just the reality of going through life? I find it harder to be carefree as I was in my youth. Now I comtemplate the facts before I make a decision. Is that wisdom or just fear?

Two Months Today..

Well, today is a gorgeous day here in the burbs of Chicago, much like it was two months ago. I can't believe that it's been two months to the day since Michael died. I miss him terribly. I miss his voice, his laughter.

There are so many aspects of him that I miss.

I find myself stopping and thinking or even saying outloud "Where did you go Michael"? or "I can't believe that you're really not here with me". Yes life goes on, but it hurts still none the less. I am reminded of him everywhere I go, in almost everything I do. Our lives were that entertwined with each other.

So, in rememberance of Michael, I say "TMD Michael, TMD".

Hummingbirds

My story of the hummingbirds.......


Last year late in spring Michael decided we should have a hummingbird feeder. So off we went to buy one, me knowing full well it was to late in the season to put one out. But I was always good for humoring Michael in the things he wanted.

So, we bought a hummingbird feeder, filled it up with sugary red water to attract them. And we waited, and we waited. Nothing. Michael said to me one day "I guess we waited to late to put one up huh"? I smiled and said "maybe so".

This spring we made sure to put out the feeder early so the birds would know they could come here to feed. So we waited and we waited. And again Michael turned to me and said "why haven't we seen any hummingbirds"? I looked at him and smiled and said " Well remember, we work all day and maybe they come around when we're not home". That seemed to satisfy his concern and on with life we went.

The day of Michael's wake I was upstairs at my desk, looking out over the backyard and what do I see at feeder? A tiny little hummingbird at the feeder. I smiled and tears came to my eyes.
Since that day, I have seen the hummingbirds often, one day there was one feeding on the flowers of the trumpeter vine right outside the breakfast nook windows. After it was done feeding it paused for a moment at the window and looked in, as if to say "Hello in there".

I imagine they will be back from time to time.

When You Least Expect It...

Any of you who have read my blog as of late know that I recently lost Michael. It is the most gut wrenching, heart breaking thing that I have ever endured.

There is nothing like having someone taken from you so tragically and no chance to say all the things you want to say.

I miss him terribly, I wander through this house of ours, and am constantly reminded of all things him and us. Our house was our dream home, it was filled with love and laughter and friends.

To anyone who might read this, PLEASE, I beg you, live your life like there is no tomorrow. Always tell the ones you love that you do love them, for you may or they may not get a second chance to say it

I miss you Michael.

TMD

In Loving Memory...

I lost Michael (M) on Sunday June 28th 2009. Michael was with out doubt the finest man one could ever meet. There was no one better, no one more giving, more accepting and more understanding then Michael. My heart aches and my life will never be the same without him.

I am a better man for having known him.

TMD MICHAEL.